How to be Single: Why it’s important

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Hello, World.

I recently watched How To Be Single for the first time, and was cracking up through the whole movie. I totally loved it: loved the message, the cast, the whole thing. While the film is meant to be a comedic look at the different ways people are single, and how they handle the status, I think that the message of the film is actually really important. Sure, watching Rebel Wilson make vulgar comments about men or show up late 3+ hours to work is funny, but I think the storyline I most enjoyed was Dakota Johnson’s, which shows a college graduate terminate a long term relationship so she can figure out “what she’s like on her own.” Frankly, being alone is something most people struggle with.

A lot of people see others coupling off, and feel like maybe it’s time to settle down. And we won’t even go into the subtle societal comments that imply we’re living in a Jane Austen novel… We are conditioned to believe that being with someone is best. However, I’m pretty happy being single, and I have a ton of friends who are also happy being single. I dated someone my freshman year of college, and I’m so glad it didn’t work out because the next three years were REALLY transformative for me, and I don’t think they would have been so important had I still been dating someone. I think being comfortable alone is important, but what I think is more important is using the time alone to really figure out who you are as an individual. Sure, one day you can be part of a couple, but you need to know what you’re bringing to the table, what you’re offering, and how the person you’re dating can compliment the person you are.

Not to hate on people who date a lot or switch from long term relationship to long term relationship, but I sometimes wonder if the people who do this know who they are. It’s hard to imagine that those relationships haven’t sort of defined who the person is. From the outside, it appears that the growing and maturing that happens in early adulthood is happening in relation to someone else. This is probably not true for everyone, and I don’t mean for it to sound like a standard. However, I do think it is fundamentally important for people to know who they are. Here’s the thing: if you don’t know who you are and what you’re looking for and what you deserve, how can anyone appreciate who you are when even you don’t know who that is. Relating this to How To Be Single, [NOTE: this may contain a spoiler, so avert your eyes if you don’t want a small plot point ruined], Dakota Johnson’s character spends much of her time that she’s supposed to be “finding herself” hooking up with or trying to fall for a new guy. The irony, of course, is that her idea of finding herself is finding another male counterpart. It’s soon revealed this is, quite obviously, the wrong way to go about finding yourself.

I think the most important part of being comfortable alone is recognizing you don’t have to settle. Now, naturally, one of the concerns about people being too comfortable alone is that they won’t ever settle down, but I think this is unreasonable as far as arguments go. Yes, people can be too comfortable being alone, but the thing is, if someone really wants to be part of your life, you will accommodate them because it’ll be too good to pass up. While you may be stuck in your ways, and stubborn about the proper way to put toilet paper on the dispenser, if you know the fit is right, you might ease up on the little things. However, you still remain steadfast in the things that make you you: belief systems, what treatment you will allow, your career goals, etc. I think there is a reason a large percentage of people say they found their significant other, spouse, etc. when they weren’t really looking. So, if you’re single, go out there and be yourself, and do your thing, and the love stuff will come when it does. If you’re in a relationship or married or whatever, make sure you know who you are, and what you, as an individual, are bringing to your relationship.

Now, to close, I will say if you haven’t seen How To Be Single, I suggest renting it, making some popcorn, pouring a glass of wine, and watching it ASAP.

Truly,
Callie leigh

Gilmore Girls Revival Preparation

Hello, World.

I’m SO excited for the Gilmore Girls revival. I can hardly express how truly ecstatic I am. I’m trying to have too many expectations, but I have a feeling it’ll be amazing. In light of the premiere, I wanted to share some essentials for getting the full Gilmore experience while watching the episodes!

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Lorelai and Rory ALWAYS order Chinese take out, so for dinner, get some Chinese food from your local spot.

Redvines are the junk food of choice (Amy Sherman Palladino shared this is her junk food go-to). I love Redvines, even though they are so bad for me.

Pop-tarts are a Gilmore essential. They almost always have pop-tarts on Friday nights.

I also recommend getting pizza for good measure. If you’re having a viewing party, Chinese AND pizza are musts!

The coffees should be self-explanatory if you’re a fan of the show. If you’re not, Gilmore Girls drink more coffee than water. Coffee is a must for a complete viewing experience.

Popcorn is an essential for any viewing of any show! Add some M&Ms or caramel or butter, and you can spice up your popcorn bowl.

Finally, for the super fans out there, tissues will be necessary. Whether we cry happy tears or sad tears, I have a feeling the revival will be an emotional experience.

I will likely do a review of the revival epsiodes (but not for a while because I don’t want to give spoilers). Also, spoilers will be clearly marked!

Truly,
Callie leigh

A Book I’m Picking Up

Hello, World.

Lauren Graham is releasing a new book in November! Who’s excited? I sure am! I already pre-ordered it, and I can’t wait for it to arrive. I plan to take it on my plane ride home to CA in December.Seeing that it comes out right near my first set of law school finals, I probably won’t get to it until Christmas break, but alas, I’m excited to read it. You can check out what it’s all about by clicking here!

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Let me know if you’re as excited as I am to get your hands on this gem.

Truly,
Callie leigh

Faking Confidence Until You Have It

Hello, World.

Sometimes it’s hard to feel confident. Being in new environments can really affect people’s confidence and ability to feel secure. I think law school is one of those places that makes people feel unsure about a lot of things. Being in an environment with competitive people, and a lot of people who were the tops of their college classes, or who have done a lot of really great things in their time off, makes you feel inadequate at times. I think a lot of people think I’m confident, or at least I’ve had a good amount of people tell me I am, but to be honest 90% of my confidence is forced. I have insecurities, just like everyone has insecurities. I over analyze things, I get my feelings hurt but small things, and I try really hard to keep my head up, even when I am completely unsure and insecure about my surroundings. I think it’s hard to feel confident when you are unsure about aspects of your life. Life is a cycle. A few months ago, I was a senior in college, feeling like I could do anything because I had multiple leadership positions, was one of the “oldest” people on campus, and knew a ton about how navigate the scene easily. Now, I feel like I’m at the bottom again (because I am). We also have to work our way up to get to the next step, and then once we get there, we downgrade to be at the bottom again before working our way up to something else.

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It’s hard, you know, walking around law school feeling like maybe you aren’t as qualified or as smart as the guy or girl constantly raising their hand and good points in class. Or the person who got chosen for the position you desperately wanted. When I chose William and Mary, something that I desperately wanted to be involved in was honor council, and I applied, and got an interview. And then I didn’t get the position. I was crushed. I cried, I called my mom, and I felt like a child. But then I talked to my dad, and I realized that this gave me opportunity to explore other things that I may be more interested in. I had the chance to reevaluate, and I had the chance to realize maybe during this climb I wanted to focus on having fun with friends, excelling in classes, and making personal connections that I didn’t really make my first year of college. But again, not getting a position I wanted so badly was crushing, and scary, and made me question myself. Confidence is not easy, especially when you feel like you just took a major hit to the gut. There have been a few things that haven’t panned out exactly as I imagine them, and while its a bit shaking, it gives the opportunity to really evaluate what I want and move on. Screen Shot 2016-10-01 at 5.28.05 PM.png

We have to fake it until we make it, and sometimes faking confidence can lead to actual confidence. I think part of faking confidence is focusing on things you have the power to improve. If you’ve always wanted get in a better work out routine, take time to do it. If you’ve always wanted to do something, take a moment to do it. When we can improve the areas of our life we feel need a little attention, it makes us feel more confident because we’re accomplishing something, even if its not directly related to the aspects of our lives that are making us uncomfortable. So, take a little time to figure out what you want, and go for it. And even if you feel uncertain, keep your chin up!

Truly,
Callie leigh

My Allergy to Life: A Food-Lover’s Testimony

Hello, World.
The time has come to have a serious discussion about the fact that I am allergic to life. Yes, while you get to enjoy focaccia bread, cheese pizza, and normal lattes, I have to order gluten-free, dairy-free everything. The joys of eating a delicious meal are rarely experienced by yours truly. Last March I took a blood test that indicates what does not react well with your body. Initially, I took it because I was beginning to believe I was lactose intolerant, but wasn’t sure. Now, something you should understand about this test is that it is not the test where the put a bunch of things on your back, and it swells and all that stuff. This test simply indicates what reacts negatively to your body within a 24-hour period after consumption. So, my results? I am allergic to everything I used to eat. I am allergic to gluten, yeast, asparagus, dairy, malt, oregano, lemon, orange, olives, grapes, salmon, tuna, and oats. The test, though, gives you stars based on severity of allergy. Gluten and Dairy each has the maximum amount of stars, with the other foods having one or two stars.
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(I am a huge desert person, but as most you probably realize, 90% of good deserts contain either gluten or dairy!)
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For the first few months following receiving my test results, I had a difficult time finding out what to eat. Luckily I live in the Bay Area, so there are a lot of gluten free options (way more than in Chico, where gluten-free is some kind of foreign term). Still, it was hard to be in college, with a meal plan, and finding things to eat. The dining hall, for example, had almost nothing that was both gluten-free and dairy-free. I felt like I was inadvertently anorexic because finding things I could actually eat was so hard, and I was always busy with classes and meetings and a social life. Also, something else that really stressed me out was people’s general lack of understanding. A lot of people, when I order gluten-free or dairy-free, assume I’m on some kind of diet, and while I am restricted in what I can eat, it isn’t necessarily a choice. Cutting out all the things that don’t react well with my body makes it so I actually feel good all the time. As someone who struggled with feeling groggy, uneasy, tired, and nervous I was going to feel sick when out to dinner with friends, my new diet is something I appreciate.
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One of the perks of being gluten free dairy free? I lost twenty pounds. As someone who has always struggled with losing weight, and always felt too big, the weight loss was something that made the transition in diet easier. But again: I am not choosing this diet because I want to lose weigh. I’m choosing it because it makes me feel better, and I feel much more confident 20 pounds lighter. I have been insecure about my weight since about seventh grade, when I started gaining weight and when I moved schools and was a good foot taller than most people. I felt like a giant in every way imaginable, and I never felt good because I ate things that didn’t sit well with me. If only I had known about my allergies then, I wouldn’t feel so bloated all the time. One of the major effects of gluten is bloating, which is one of the reasons people who do choose to diet cut gluten out of their daily intake. I really like being gluten free, dairy free, but sometimes it’s difficult. Like when I go to coffee with a friend and the barista accidentally makes my latte with regular milk instead of soy. Or when I’m out with friends and everyone wants Italian, but the only Italian place close to us doesn’t have gluten free options and I feel famished and really don’t want to just get salad. Or when, perhaps more relevant, when it’s Thanksgiving and my favorite side dishes are green bean casserole and stuffing. Those dishes are definitely NOT gluten free dairy free. But they can be, and most people don’t realize that. So, in the next few weeks I would like to share some recipes that are holiday appropriate that are both gluten free and dairy free. I know that gluten intolerance is being found in more and more people, so it’s nice to discover gluten free food that actually tastes great too. Also, I have biology major as a friend, and he said that most people develop acute lactose intolerance as they age because our bodies naturally have a harder time breaking down lactose as we age. So, maybe going dairy free sometimes wouldn’t be such a bad thing for most people (and cutting down on dairy intake heightens weight loss if you’re interested in that). Anyway, I wanted to share my experience with finding out I needed to completely alter my daily eating, and offer a pre-cursor for all the gluten free dairy free recipes coming you way.

Truly,

Callie Leigh

Note: The food pictures are from my Pinterest, and are not all gluten-free dairy-free, but are meals or deserts that i would like to transform into diet-acceptable foods for myself. The photos of me are a little grainy, but my computer crashed last year so I lost a lot of my good before pictures!