I thought something fun to do would be to share 13 things about myself. Things that are fun, silly, or serious, or a combination. I hope people read my blog, and enjoy what I write, but I also want my readers to understand who I am and where I’m coming from. We all have unique perspectives, but some of these items to follow reveal a little about how and why I have my particular point of view about life. Enjoy, and I hope you can relate to some of them!
1) I have a love hate relationship with my height. I’m 5’ 11”, and I have a hard time deciding if I actually like being so tall or not. Sometimes I think it’s awesome, but other times it’s hard. I’m usually way taller than my friends, and it’s hard to buy jeans that aren’t specifically long. It’s also hard because in pictures I tower over everyone.
2) I have an obsession with Mumford and Sons. I discovered Mumford and Sons a while back, before they were well known, and before people thought they were cool (yes, that sounds hipster-ish, but it’s true). I listened to them non-stop for months, and was convinced I would figure out a way to attend one of their concerts (something I still plan to do). I love this group so much, and not just because they are phenomenal musicians, but also because they have deep, thought provoking lyrics, and I can always find a song that fits my mood. I watched an interview special with them when I stayed with my parents at the local hotel a few weeks ago, and remembered just how much I love their music and the individuals in the band.
3) I write fiction, plays, and more recently, poetry. Something about the written word just allows me to relax, and I feel like most of the time my mind thinks in stories. Not to be cliché, but people say Taylor Swift writes songs about her experiences, well, I write novels. The novel I’m currently working on deals with some of the events that occurred in the last few months in my life. I guess this is where I should say, be careful or you might end up in my novel… There is an element of truth to this. The novel I completed in high school featured aspects of a lot of people in my life at the time. But if I tell you I’m writing, please DO NOT ask me if you, as an entire being, is in my book because chances are you are not. I only include personality traits, events, or actions. I never fully base any one character on any one person. But anyway, I also like to write plays because I LOVE dialogue and plays give me much more freedom with dialogue. I’ve never written poetry, or at least I’ve never liked the poetry I wrote, but lately I’ve written a lot of poetry, and I really like what’s coming out. They say that major events can spur inspiration, and I’m beginning to think that is very true.
4) I believe in forgiveness. I like to be happy, and I don’t think it’s possible to be truly happy if you don’t forgive, but sometimes forgiving people is really difficult. It’s super hard to forgive people who really just break you down, or even worse, break your trust. I have a lot of walls up, and I’m a hard person to get close to (I admit this), and when people are dishonest with me or break my trust, it’s incredibly hard for me to forgive. I also have the tendency to take the expression, “forgive and forget,” too seriously. If I forgive people, I tend to forget them. I forget any kind of bond, friendship, or relationship we had, and I forget that they needed my forgiveness, and I cut them off. I don’t like this about myself, but it goes back to the walls I build around myself to keep from having things happen where my forgiveness is necessary. There is only one person I haven’t forgiven for something, but I’m trying to forgive because I believe forgiveness is vital to survival.
5) My most loved pastime is getting coffee with a friend and talking about life. I have a slight problem when it comes to coffees or teas. I’m simply addicted, and I spend way too much of my time in a coffee shop. I absolutely love getting a warm beverage and talking to my friends, old and new. I believe conversation is one of the most eye opening, soul searching, and authentic form of human communication. People who communicate well are my favorite, people who can show emotion are my favorite, and people who are authentic, genuine people are my favorite.
6) I find myself trying to please everyone. I care too much what people think, which is a little funny since I put my life on this blog and open myself up to all kinds of criticism. But alas, I have this tendency to please people not matter what that means for me. I find myself protecting people who don’t need protection, and I find myself doing things for people even if it’s not necessarily what’s best for me. I like to see people happy, and I do things to try and make everyone happy or pleased. This puts a lot of pressure on my (completely self-induced), but I really love seeing people happy, even if that means I may not be the happiest person.
7) I had an obsession with Native American culture when I was little. I researched the crap out of Native Americans when I was little, and often pretended to be one, making teepees in the orchards around my house, making beaded necklaces, etc. It’s a little weird, but it was something I found truly fascinating, and wanted to be a part of. I remember finding out I have Indian on my dad’s side of the family, and thinking it was the coolest thing ever. I was kind of a nerd, and still am, but I always find odd things captivating.
8) I wish to see the world. I have this burning desire to travel, which is why I would like to do a semester in London, so I can study and travel, and just get a fresh perspective on life. This is part of my bucket list, and it probably will remain on my bucket list for the rest of my life because no matter how much I travel, I will still want to see more.
9) My form of therapy is watching Gilmore Girls in bed, drinking tea, and crying. I am not one of those people who thinks crying is a form of weakness. I’m not the biggest crier, but I think sometimes crying is necessary. Since about sixth grade, whenever I was having a rough day, week, or month, I would watch my favorite show, drink a cup of hot tea, and cry. Crying is healthy, and I think it’s sad that our culture makes people feel broken or defeated if they cry. We are supposed to form tears sometimes, and crying doesn’t always have to be a negative. “Tears of joy,” anyone? I’ve become more of a crying person, as I’ve gotten older. When I was little I thought crying was a terrible thing, and I only cried during really terrible times, but now I cry when I’m just a little upset, when I’m happy, or when my whole life begins to unravel. I’m strong, but sometimes I just need to cry.
10) I’m scared to death people think I’m mean because I have a “rude” resting face. Now, I put ‘rude’ in quotations because I don’t think my resting face is rude, but this is something I’ve been told numerous times since I was little. People are always saying, “you seem uninterested,” “you’re so aloof,” or “she scares me because she has a mean face.” Personally, I think this ties back to my Tea Talk on Judgment, but alas, I really hate that people think I’m mean just because I’m not smiling 24-7. Again, I like to please people, I like to make people happy, and I don’t like when people think I hate them just because of my face. I know a lot of people that suffer from this resting face, and we all say the same thing: “it’s not like I intentionally glare at the world.” I don’t try to glare at people, and unless you’ve given me reason to think otherwise, I probably like you. So anyway, I don’t like that people think I’m mean.
11) I want to live on the East Coast for at least two years at some point in my life. My first college choice was Dartmouth, but I didn’t get in. Looking back, that was definitely for the best, but I still desperately want to live on the East Coast at some point in my life. I took a trip to NYC a few years ago, and fell in love with the city instantly. I also want to prove that I can deal with cold weather because people, when Dartmouth was my goal, told me I would freeze to death. But yeah, the East Coast would be cool.
12) My family is the most important thing to me. This is fairly self-explanatory, but I will still explain because I love discussing my family. My parents are two of the most incredible people I’ve ever met in my life, and I feel so blessed to have them. It makes me so sad when people tell me they have strained relationships with their parents because my parents have never failed to love me, accept me, and forgive me for being stupid at times. I hope to God that one day I have a love as beautiful as theirs, and I hope to be half the parent to my kids as they’ve been to me. My mother is my best friend, and I wouldn’t trade our relationship for anything in this world. She is always there for me, and assures me that I’m where I need to be, and that I have my whole life to figure things out. My father is my inspiration for everything, and I want nothing more than to make him proud. He’s also probably one of the coolest, most original people I’ve met, and he always reminds me that individuality is supreme. My sister, my other best friend, is hilarious. I promise you, I never stop laughing when I’m around her. We’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but I hope she knows that I truly love her, and I am so grateful for everything she is, and she is a beautiful person in every way, and she was the ultimate role model growing up because she showed me imperfection is perfect. She also assured me that I was good enough, and that I didn’t need to fit into some mold to be a good person. I also am blessed with amazing aunts and uncles, who never fail to make me happy.
13) I’m a work in progress. I’m still figuring myself out, I’m still growing as a person, I’m still learning everyday, and I’m still finding out what I want from this terribly insane ride called life.