Do you ever get to a point where you feel like you’re constantly making decisions that are impacting your life in major ways? I feel like I’m at that point right now. Coming up, I have to make decisions that will impact my life both personally, academically, and professionally. To say it’s stressful would be a bit of an understatement. I’m someone who likes to talk about my problems with people, and see what their opinion is, and if it’ll impact my decision in any way. People continually offer advice and support, but at the end of the day it is up to you and you alone about what decision you’re going to make. So I’m here today to talk with you about making big decision, as in ways to make them, how to deal with any fallout that may result, and how to know you’re making the best decision for yourself.
Making big decisions is always a hard task because there is an underlying fear that you’ll make the wrong decision, that the people close to you won’t support your decision, or that you’ll be unhappy after a while with the decision you make. I’m going to break down for you the way I usually make a big decision, and I’d love to hear your thoughts about how you go about making big decisions.
How to Make the Decision
1. Make a Pro Con List | I always make a pro con list when I’m facing a major decision that has multiple factors playing into it that affect more than just myself. In true Rory Gilmore fashion, I believe decision making can be aided by a strong pro con list. You may know which way you’re leaning, but may not realize it until you see all the positives and negatives written out in front of you.
2. Consult You Family and Closest Friends | The next step, after making a pro con list is to talk to my mom and dad, then my two closest friends. I usually tell them the result of my pro con list, then explain why I’m still unsure of my decision. They can offer insight and advice I may not have considered otherwise. I’ll take what they said, re-look at the list, and re-consider if my mind is still in the same place.
3. Figure Out What Is Holding You Back | Why can’t you just decide and stick with the decision? There is likely a cause of your hesitation. Putting a face on that cause makes it easier to combat, and figure out which way you should go as far as making a decision.
4. Go With Your Gut | I don’t know about you, but my gut kicks and screams and makes itself known when it has a strong opinion. Even if my mind tries to silence my gut, my gut always wins. If I ignore my gut, I end up being annoyed with myself later. I make a point to evaluate what my gut is saying, and pinpointing why it may feel that way.
Dealing With Fallout
1. Trust Yourself | You know yourself better than anyone. If you feel a decision is best for you, make it, and don’t consider the opinions of people who don’t support you. The people who truly matter will support your no matter what. This may sound harsh, but it’s true. If you’re a twenty-something like me, the most important person right now is you. You want to have the agency to build an empire, start your career with a bang, and find personal happiness.
2. Let The Non-Supportive People Go | While it may be difficult, allow yourself some distance from the people who don’t support your decisions. Chances are, the time you do spend with them they will use to reiterate that they don’t approve.
3. Remind Yourself You’re Happier | Did your decision to quit your job make you happier? Did your decision to change your major make you happier? If the answer is yes, then remind yourself of the happiness you now have as a result of making your decision.
How To Know You Make the Right Decision
1. You Feel Happier | If you feel happier, you made the right decision. This is simple. Greater happiness is equal to making a positive decision.
2. You Feel Lighter | Do you feel like a weight’s been lifted? Do you feel like you can breathe easier? Then you made the best decision for yourself.
3. You Feel More Supported In Your New Place | Do you feel generally more supported after your changed careers or majors or jobs? Then you made the right decision. If you feel unsupported where you are, you should make a change. Feeling unsupported takes a huge toll on our ability to be happy, effective, and productive. If you feel supported by making a change, then make the change!
I’m in the process of making some huge decisions within the realm of where I hope to intern this summer, what senior year will look like, when to take the LSAT and where, and finally, whether to take on greater responsibilities. It’s been rough, and I feel so conflicted about it all. The thing I’m doing now, though, is making decisions that seem the most right, right now.
How do you make big decisions?