Tea Talk: Long Distance Relationships (friends edition)


Hello, World.

Remember last summer when I wrote a post about long distance relationships? Well, things have changed since then. Almost every couple I wrote about broke up because the distance got to be too much, and people that were close to one of the people in the couple got too intriguing to ignore. It turns out, long distance relationships are harder than I thought. They usually involve a series of quietness, when people are beginning to understand the relationship is hitting a wall, and it continues until the fateful phone call or encounter that ends it all. So, in light of this discovery, I decided to write a post about long distance relationships with FRIENDS. As a college student, I am cursed with spending nine months with my close friends, then having to go home and not see them very much for three months. People can change so much in three short months, but friends are really good at staying close despite the distance.

Friends, and I mean true friends, are able to go months without speaking, and as soon as they’re reunited, they pick up as if no time passed. I realize this sounds cliche, but in all honesty, it is one of the biggest truths I’ve learned in my experience thus far. One of my closest friends from home, Rossy, is the friend who constantly checks in with me to make sure I’m surviving, and she bugs me about when I will be home next (which I greatly appreciate). I love friends who keep in touch, and I’m not so hot on friends that, well, don’t. This year is fairly easy as far as staying in contact with my friends because all but roughly three of them live within walking distance of my residence hall. Next year, however, will be a bit of a difficulty for various reasons.

First, I will be a Resident Advisor on campus, which is time-consuming, and means I will be living in a first year residence hall. I am so excited to hold the position, and I feel so blessed with the opportunity. This position simply means my friends will be a little farther away than normal, though I go to such a small school its not a big deal. Anyway, I will be busier next year, and  I want to make sure I am maintaining my friendships while being the best RA possible.

Second, my best friend on campus, Holly, will be studying abroad in London during Fall Semester, which is completely awesome, but means there will be an ocean between us. In this regard, I have to make sure facetime is always working, and that the art of letter writing is picked back up because I want to make sure we are staying in consistent contact. I’m not sure how it’s going to be not living with her anymore, but I’m excited for her study abroad experience.

Third, a few of my friends are moving off campus, which will signify the first time any of my friends aren’t living on campus with me. It’ll be an interesting adjustment, but I plan to make sure I still go on coffee runs with them between class, or invite them over for dinner on nights I’m not on duty as an RA.

Most people don’t have to figure out how to actively maintain friendships until graduation, when you will not be physically with your friends for extended periods of time. My friends and I have to figure it out halfway through our college career. It is an interesting adjustment, but my roommate and I keep discussing it, and we believe it’ll be the time when we really figure out which bonds are worth working for. I love my friends, but busy schedules and distance can test people more than any written exam in a classroom. I want to make sure I am keeping in contact with them, and hanging with them whenever possible.

I feel long distance friendships are 100 times easier than long distance relationships, but I think both take work on the parts of both people. Friends who truly care about one another never stop putting the work in because the bond is slightly stronger than being in a relationship, or maybe there is just less pressure, I’m not sure. Regardless, friendships are important, and friends make people happiest, so in the next year I want to make sure that distance makes the heart grow fonder! Keep in mind that once college ends, people are going to be leaving for jobs, graduate school, programs, etc., and you want to make sure your bonds are strong enough to withstand the distance. With the amount of technology permeating today’s society there are really no excuses for NOT keeping in contact with the people who are important to you.

“True friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.” -anonymous

Callie Leigh

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