I haven’t posted a ‘tea talk’ recently, so I wanted to share some thoughts about something. At first, I couldn’t think of any one thing I wanted to dedicate a whole post to, because so many thoughts have been going through my head lately about so many different topics. Then one day I was talking to my friend about the difference between selfishness, cockiness, and confidence. All three are so close, and yet they don’t actually touch. So, this post will be about confidence, and what it means to be confident. I don’t think being confident is synonymous with being selfish, but I think sometimes people believe it is. Just because you are confident does not mean you are constantly thinking of only yourself. I also do not think that being confident is synonymous with cockiness. Sure, people can take it to extremes, and say, “I’m the best looking, I’m the best student, I’m the best person on this planet,” but confident people aren’t necessarily self-absorbed.
I think it’s a shame that people are told everyday that if they think highly of themselves that they are self-righteous. But let me just say, there is world of difference between owning who you are (i.e., being confident), and being a totally conceited jerk (i.e., cocky). I’m a firm believer that people who respect themselves, and who are content with their being are much happier than people who look in the mirror every day and see their enemy. You should love yourself, enough to let people’s harmful words or judgments roll off your back, but not so much that you begin making other people feel poorly.
In a lot of ways, the sentiments from my tea talk on loving yourself are applicable to this post, but I want to highlight the idea that being confident isn’t negative. “Confidence is key,” remember? I feel most confident when I am completely content with everyone in my life, all the decisions I’m making, and how I’m doing in school. I carry myself better, and I don’t feel as hard on myself when my friends express their happiness with their own lives. Confident people are powerful, they are people we follow, they are the people we gravitate toward, and they are the people we strive to resemble. In this regard, I think that confidence couples nicely with positivity, since positive people are typically confident and confident people radiate positivity.
This is why I don’t think that confidence should be so condemned. Some people are falsely confident, and some people exaggerate their confidence, but I think if people can present themselves as genuinely confident, they are better off than the incessantly negative person. Again, there is a fine line between the confident person and the truly conceited individual. Conceited people are annoying, because they are typically very vocal about how amazing they are, whereas the truly confident person usually just has a sense about them. Some of the most confident people I know, the people I aspire to be like, are quietly confident. They are humble, yet you know they are utterly content with and proud of whom they are. Confidence should be seen as positive, and not necessarily self-righteous or annoying. So, be confident, be happy, and be you.