Movies I Loved

Hello, World.

Today I am back with some movies I HIGHLY recommend. My roommate and I went a bit of a movie bender and watched so many movies over the last few weeks. I recently shared my thoughts on The Greatest Showman, Darkest Hour, and The Post. The next movies on our list were Lady Bird, I, Tonya, and Fifty Shades Freed. I’m not going to share an in-depth review of Fifty Shades Freed, but I will say if you saw the first two films, I recommend seeing the final. However, I personally liked the second movie best. Also, my roommate and I were reading excerpts of the books and were cracking up at how terribly written the books are. Still, It’s an entertaining film.

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A movie I do want to share a full review of, however, is Lady Bird. I absolutely adored this film and if I wasn’t watching with another person I probably would have been sobbing as the credits rolled. I cannot say enough about this film other than I recommend everyone see it. I think it perfectly captures the dichotomy between being a teenager and hating everything and being yourself and loving people without knowing how to show it. If I had a dime for every time my mom and I fought when I was in high school, followed closely by tears and comforting I could pay for my law school education. Being a parent is hard, but being a parent to a teenage girl has to be the worst job ever. Honestly, high school feels like eons ago and I can’t even really see the person I was anymore, but I do remember feeling like I just wanted to get away from my small town and arguing with my mom and crying in a car because some boy hurt me before jumping right back into a relationship with someone equally terrible for me.

I liked that Lady Bird was tough, smart, witty, but also frustrating and mean and imperfect at times. Hello, teenage life. As a northern California native, the setting of Sacramento also got me. This movie resonated with me because I know what it’s like to be an angsty teenage girl who desperately wants to escape her small town only to discover, some 3,000 miles away, that she really loves the small moments and the people who make it home. In short, this film was incredible and got me all kinds of emotional.

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I saw the trailer for I, Tonya months ago and I kept telling my roommate I really wanted to see it. I didn’t live through the scandal between Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan (it happened the year I was born), but I was intrigued by how much attention it got and the narratives told. I thought a movie from Tonya’s perspective was bound to be interesting. What I loved about this film is that I walked away still not knowing who to believe or what to think. So many unreliable narrators and so many questions. I heard people criticize the movie for trying to make Tonya look like the victim. I disagree. I do not think there is a question who the ultimate victim is. However, I do think the movie tries to humanize Tonya and illuminate why she reacted the way she did to the attack. Further, Margot Robbie killed it. Honestly, her acting was incredible. Sebastian Stan (who will forever be the creepy, but also hot guy from Gossip Girl in my mind) also did an incredible job.

Ultimately, Tonya was a victim of terrible abuse from her mother and husband who wanted nothing more than to skate and be the best. It’s gutwrenching at the end to see her banned from skating for life at the age of 23 (my age!). Part of me wonders if the narrative would have been the same pre and post attack if this happened today. I don’t think it would be portrayed the same way, but its also hard to say because the media loves to pit women against each other (hello, Jennifer Anniston and Angelina Jolie… more than ten years later).

What movies have you seen lately that you recommend?

Truly,
Callie leigh

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5 Easy Ways to Practice Self-Care Effectively

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Hello, World.

Self-care is one of those things I had never heard of before college. Then I got to college and everyone was preaching self-care. Self-care can look different for different people, but I think self-care is one of the most important aspects of a person’s life. I feel like everything in my life improves when I take time for myself and do things that make me feel like my best self. So, today I’m sharing my top five tips for practicing self-care.

  1. Listen to yourself. Seems straightforward enough, right? Well, it’s not always easy to stop and just ask yourself, “what do I want?” and allow whatever comes to mind to control. I used to ignore what I wanted and put what everyone else wanted first. Now, I ask myself, “do you want to do x?” and if the answer is no, I don’t do it. Whether its a social gathering, the gym, a movie, a function, if it’s not what I want to do, I don’t do it. Now, obviously, we have to do things we don’t want to do occasionally. Still, if you can control something, and it’s not what you want, you have the power to say no.
  2. Make time for your hobby. Whether its yoga, the gym, hiking, reading for pleasure, getting coffee and reading The Post, find time for it. The best thing you can do for yourself is really stressful seasons of life is take time to enjoy something you love. For me, I take time to read from “for fun” novels or nonfiction. I miss reading novels and talking about books, so I try to bring a daily reading practice into my routine.
  3. Let go of failures. Did you get a low grade? Did you get turned down for that job? Did you get blown off for a networking call? All of that sucks and can easily cause all types of self-doubt and annoyances. However, a way to practice self-care is to let it go. Don’t let those things, that seem so major right now, define you. You can be successful, and you will be successful, but you have to let the things that don’t work out go.
  4. Quick Spa Night. When I’m feeling really stressed, I will put on a face mask, paint my nails, light some candles, and relax. It may seem too easy, but it can rejuvenate me and give me the extra motivation I need to check more items off my to-do list.
  5. Take a Walk. I go to school near Colonial Williamsburg, and when I’m really stressed or just need a break, I go for a walk around the area by myself. It’s great to get outside, get fresh air, gain some perspective, and just walk around. Taking a walk can give you distance from something that’s stressing you or will allow you to think clearly as you walk around. Taking walks is vastly underrated, in my opinion!

How do you practice self-care?

Truly,

Callie leigh

Body Positivity: Let Go of Food Guilt

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Hello, World.

You know a phrase I say that I hate? “If I eat x, I definitely HAVE to go to the gym.” Honestly, few phrases irk me more than expressing guilt for eating something. You know what else this phrase does, aside from letting everyone know you eat responsibly and care about your figure? It makes you feel like you cannot eat sweets or carbs without feeling guilty. This is wrong and I’d like to proffer the suggestion that we, as a society, let go of food guilt. Kelsey Damassa, of Boston College, writing for HerCampus, wrote an article entitled “The New Eating Disorder You Might Not Realize You Have: Food Guilt.” The article chronicles what food guilt is, address the origins of food guilt, and offers solutions for combating food guilt. It’s a good read, and I suggest you read it once you finish reading this post.

What I’d like to talk about is more how I’ve seen food guilt manifest in my own life, how I’ve recognized it, how I’ve exacerbated the guilt, and how I’ve been working to overcome guilt associated with eating a few extra sour gummy worms or cookies. To begin, I’d like to say I’ve always struggled with my body.  I’ve never been overly thrilled with my body, and I’ve spent countless hours beating myself up over the way my body is. This is only natural given the unattainable standards of beauty we see daily. In college, I lost a bunch of weight really quickly (by cutting out gluten and dairy, both of which do not react well with my body). I felt good about my body for the first time. Then I got to law school and gained all the lost weight back and then some. Enter punishing thoughts and despair as my clothes started to fit tighter. But here’s the thing: intense stress makes you gain weight. I’m a stress eater, and when I’m stressed I crave sugar and carbs, which do not nourish my body.

Anyway, as I reached for a bag of M&Ms or ate the dinner rolls while out with friends, I could feel that voice, you know, the one that tells us we shouldn’t eat that or we’ll get fat, creeping back in. So, to combat my eating shifts, I started going to the gym. Then, in conversation, I would hear myself saying, “Oh, yeah, let’s eat ice cream, but we have to go to the gym tomorrow.” Why did I feel the need to say, out loud, that if I had ice cream I had to go to the gym? I know some people say they do this to remind themselves to be healthy, but I think it creates an uncomfortable, often uneasy feeling. Even if the “we have to go to the gym,” is meant as a personal reminder, think about how the other person perceives it. This essentially means that the other person can eat that and not go to the gym, but if they do that, they’re making a bad choice, being unhealthy, the list goes on. Watching what you eat, making healthy choices, and avoiding things that don’t nourish your body is all totally fine. However, when guilt seeps in every time you make a choice to eat a given food, that’s no longer healthy. Restricting your food or having a negative relationship with your food is a cause of eating disorders.

If you begin seeing food as the enemy — you know, thinking that cookie will make you fat or that the candy bar translates directly into minutes at the gym — you’re not helping yourself. I know this because I’m a veteran of food guilt. Every time I eat something “unhealthy,” I feel the guilt. I know I’ll have to put extra time in at the gym, I know it’ll go straight to my hips. BUT, the thing is, feeling guilty doesn’t stop me from enjoying a cookie in the moment. It’s the guilt that comes after that sucks. Still, one cookie is not going to change much. I’ve told some of my friends this many a time. “One cookie, piece of pie, a bag of popcorn, etc. isn’t going to kill you.” The issue is my response mirrors the all or nothing mentality that their “I have to go to the gym if I eat this” carries. The way to combat this is to let go of food guilt. Make decisions based on what makes you feel good, but if you want the cookie, eat the damn cookie, and let it go. That doesn’t mean you can’t go to the gym after, but it means you hold the power, not the cookie.

Body positivity is one of the hardest things to embrace. We all have things we wish were bigger, smaller, better, stronger, etc. However, you only have one body and it’s important to treat it well. Stop telling it that one cookie or dessert will always mean two hours on an elliptical. The best way to embrace body positivity is to aim for healthy, but refusing to let one indulgence give you so much guilt.

What are your experiences with food guilt and how have you combatted it?

Truly,
Callie leigh

3 Movies I’ve Seen Recently

Hello, World!

With awards season in full swing, my roommate and I are trying to see the nominated films. Each weekend we go to see a movie. It’s a great break from school and forces us to enjoy the movie. When we watch at home we end up on our phones or computers or generally distracted. Our town has a Movie Tavern, which is essentially a restaurant inside the movie theatre, so the food is delivered right to your seat! Anyway, I wanted to share three movies I saw that I highly recommend. In the coming weeks we plan to see Lady Bird, Fifty Shades Freed (obviously NOT a nominated film) and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.

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We just saw Darkest Hour and it was so well done. Gary Oldman did an incredible job and I would be surprised if he doesn’t win the Academy Award. The film is long but worth it. I feel like I need to brush up on my European history. Still, it’s so well done. I love a good historical film and I felt like I was actually watching Churchill at work! I’d give this film 4/5 stars because I felt the length a bit, but other than that it was a great film!

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I LOVE this movie. Ugh. On so many levels I just loved this film. It focuses on the intersection of free speech, free press, and national security. Meryl Streep, of course, did a phenomenal job. Tom Hanks was equally great, and their chemistry was strong. I took my roommate that was the first movie I’d seen where two people had great purely platonic chemistry. I highly, highly recommend this movie. I also want to read Kathryn Graham’s Personal History.

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This is such a good movie. The soundtrack is amazing and I listen to it a lot while studying. I was hesitant about the circus theme because I like the idea in the abstract, but sometimes it feels like a con. I also felt, at times, like P. T. Barnum was a bit of a jerk… his treatment of the performers at times was troublesome, but by the end, I was happy with the storyline and enjoyed all the performances! I highly recommend if you want a great musical.

What movies have you seen recently?

Truly,
Callie leigh

Creating Your Place In the World: Thoughts on Finding Your Tribe and Building Your Empire

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Hello, World.

I recently participated in Hilary Rushford’s How to Make the Right Dreams Happen in 2018, which was a workshop she put together designed to empower people to work hard and reach intentional goals in 2018. I also came across a post on Carly the Prepster where she talked about the beginning of her blog and the somewhat wonky road she took to become who she is today. After participating in the workshop and reading the post, I was thinking a lot about the uncertainty that is all too familiar in the life of a student. Being a student is difficult because a lot of life seems temporary and unclear. For example, I chose to go to law school in Virginia. This was a choice that I made. Yet, after one and a half years in Virginia, I know I don’t want to build a life here long-term. I would say I don’t have anything against the state, but I miss the west coast and I’ve realized I prefer the northeast (hello, New York!). Still, I know that this chapter of my life is so important.

But… uncertainty remains. It’s hard to know what’s going to last and what’s relevant right now but may be less relevant in a month, six months, a year, five years. I read a book recently that said something along the lines of, “you tell yourself it’s temporary. But then you get a job, and you meet people, and you love where you are, and you become a regular at the coffee shop down the street and know the names of the cashier at the grocery, and suddenly your life is here. It’s not there.” As a student, life is often up in the air. So, how do we create a firm place for ourselves in a pliable world? Well, we create it.

You may then ask: how do we create our place? I believe that finding your place happens when you feel secure, confident, and comfortable in your life. So, this involves the people you surround yourself with, the places you live, and the way you approach the day. When I got to law school, I felt really lost. I’ve discussed this at length previously, but essentially I was not one of the people who immediately fell into a rhythm and felt like I fit perfectly in the environment. So, I took steps to figure out why. I realized part of the issue was I wasn’t finding my tribe (this is ironic, since my school’s mascot is, literally, the tribe). I started being strategic and selective about who I surrounded myself with, which meant finding people who built others up, who supported me, who made me laugh, and who I felt a connection to. It took time but I finally felt fulfilled when I hung out with people and not sad or drained.

So, how do we find our tribe? Hilary Rushford’s brand is built on community and the idea of finding your tribe. I love that concept and I think it’s so important that we find people who complete our lives by adding value to it. I’ve had many friends over the year who were fine, but never really added to my life. That’s not to say they weren’t great people, but I think it shows why they ended up being temporary. My closest friends are the ones who I can text or call and it’s easy and we’re there for each other and we support each other and we laugh and feel like something is missing when we haven’t heard from them in a while.

Creating your place can look different for different people, but I think the crux of it all comes in the form of being strategic, selective, and confident. If you know the person you are and who you want to be, and you feel out of place in certain contexts, that implies a lack of fit. That’s not your place, so don’t get discouraged because there’s another one waiting for you. Finding your place in life is similar to finding a good college. You need to feel it in your very being that it’s right for you. Some campuses are pretty and offer good opportunities but don’t feel right for you. If you can’t find your perfect place at the present time you can focus on yourself. Read novels, go to yoga classes, run outside, work on yourself. Work on being happy and confident in yourself. The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to recognize the people, places, and things that complement you.

Truly,

Callie leigh

Success is a Mentality

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Hello, World.

I once saw a woman walking down the streets of San Francisco in a beautiful outfit — a wool coat that stayed the same shade as freshly fallen snow despite the debris of nearby construction sites swirling through the air, her hair shiny and straight and in place, not succumbing to the cool breeze coming off the Bay, and a elegantly tailored navy suit peeking through the coats, perfectly hemmed to accommodate her small, but newly shined pumps. There’s a look on her face that’s determined. She walks with purpose, a crisp copy of the Chronicle tucked tightly under her arm, a blue bottle coffee cup in one gloved-hand, and her briefcase held firmly with the other. She takes a left on California Street and heads toward her office which she left mere hours before her morning routine started. Yes, she is someone with a morning routine… she does have coffee, a newspaper, and a briefcase after all.

The person I saw was me… but a future me. A future me I wanted to see. This is what I call daydreaming between networking meetings about the person I want to be one day. It sounds weird, right? Looking put together doesn’t translate directly into success, but we all, to some degree, assume that people who look put together have it all together. However, if we apply a little logic to this assumption, it’s thinness is clear. In actuality, success is a mentality. Success is something we tell ourselves, its something we create by our own actions and drive. When you google a definition for “successful” the definition spit out is “accomplishing an aim or purpose.” So, in order to be successful, you must have an aim or purpose.

In college, I was a facilitator for a leadership retreat, and as a “thank you” gift (I suppose), the women I worked with gave me a book entitled Start With Why by Simon Sinek. Essentially, the book advocates for figuring out why you’re doing something before doing it because if there is no passion…no reason…you won’t achieve what you intend (because what you intend is unclear). This message pops up for me again and again. When I’m feeling lost or aimless, I usually go back to why I started or why I’m doing what I’m doing. Ultimately, if there is no purpose or aim success cannot exist. If you don’t have a clear mental image of what you wish to accomplish, you cannot possibly measure how you’re doing or how close you are to achieving that.

So, if you want to be successful, the best thing to do is come up with an aim or purpose. Figure out what you want to achieve. There are a lot of people who will define success differently than you and there are plenty of people who will tell you what you should do to be successful. I say ignore all the voices and listen to your own. Imagine the life you want to live, cling to the image, and pursue it with all your strength. Don’t settle; don’t become so discouraged you become convinced its impossible. Persist.

How do you measure your success?

Truly,

Callie leigh

Winter Reads: Two Books I Read Recently

Hello, World.

I’m sorry for my hiatus toward the end of last semester. I had a terrible finals schedule, which meant I was studying from about November 4th until I went home for the holidays. The holiday season flew by, and before I knew it I was back in Williamsburg for the spring semester. Honestly, I had so many blog posts planned for November and December and they just didn’t happen. As most of my planned posts dealt with the holiday season or were more relevant in the past months, I’ve decided to start fresh with a new slew of posts in the new year.

First and foremost, I wanted to share two books I read while I was home in California over the holiday break. One book I picked up with the intention of reading post-finals and the other I had on my shelf for a while before picking it up. One of my goals for myself this year is spending less money, and that includes not purchasing new books. I have quite a few books on my shelves I haven’t picked up, so I’m hoping that if I’m not buying new books it will force me to reach for books I own but haven’t read.

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Anyway, onto the books I read recently. First up is The City Baker’s Guide to Country Living by Lousie Miller. I picked this novel up after seeing it on Carly the Prepster’s Instagram stories. I was also sold by the Bon Appetit review on the cover that reads: “Ok, it’s Gilmore Girls.” Anything with Gilmore Girls on it is something I will purchase! So, I ordered the novel from Penguin and allowed it to gather dust on my shelf until finals were finally over and I packed it in my tote bag to head to the airport. Once I started the novel, I loved it. For reference, the book’s summary is as follows:

When Olivia Rawlings—baker extraordinaire for an exclusive Boston dinner club—sets not just her flambéed dessert but the entire building alight, she takes a much-needed weekend break in the idyllic leafy town of Guthrie, Vermont. A weekend soon turns into something more permanent when Margaret Hurley, the cantankerous, sweater-set-wearing owner of the Sugar Maple Inn, needs to recruit a new baker who can help her reclaim the inn’s blue ribbon status at the annual county fair apple pie contest. On paper, at least, Livvy seems to be just who she was looking for.

Livvy’s love life’s a mess and so she does what she does best: relocate. Along with Salty, her gigantic, uber-enthusuastic dog with almost too much personality, Livvy, as the Sugar Maple’s new baker, brings her mouthwatering desserts to the residents of Guthrie, home of Bag Balm, the country’s longest-running contra dance, and her best friend, Hannah. And when Olivia meets Martin McCracken, the Guthrie native who has returned from New York to nurse his ailing father, Livvy comes to understand that she may not be as alone in this world as she once thought. With the joys of a warm, fragrant kitchen, the sound of banjos and fiddles being tuned in a barn, and the crisp scent of the orchard just outside the front door, Olivia Rawlings may finally find that the life you want may not be the one you expected—it could be even better.”

I loved the storytelling and cozy vibes that leaped from the page. While it may not have been the most well-written book I’ve read, I appreciated the pacing and development of the story. I adored the cast of characters, and I had a hankering to uproot to small-town Vermont by the book’s close! This was the first book in a while that I thoroughly enjoyed cover to cover. While there was a plot twist that took me by surprise, I ended up appreciating the decision. I highly recommend this read to anyone who needs a cozy story with great characters.

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Second, I read Commonwealth by Ann Patchett. This book sat on my shelf for a while before I finally picked it up. I think I bought it last summer because it was showing up everywhere on my Instagram feed. I love a good family drama, and I was excited to start this. Though I wish some of the storylines lasted a bit longer or were delved into a bit deeper, I enjoyed the book. The writing was very good and it was easy to keep the characters straight because they were written so distinctly. I would recommend this book to people who like family dramas, who are interested in how family dynamics change and impact our lives, or to someone who just loves a well-written novel that makes us reflect on our own lives.

For reference, the inside flap for this novel is as follows:

“One Sunday afternoon in Southern California, Bert Cousins shows up at Franny Keating’s christening party uninvited. Before evening falls, he has kissed Franny’s mother, Beverly – thus setting in motion the dissolution of their marriages and the joining of two families.

Spanning five decades, Commonwealth explores how this chance encounter reverberates through the lives of the four parents and six children involved. Spending summers together in Virginia, the Keating and Cousins children forge a lasting bond that is based on a shared disillusionment with their parents and the strange and genuine affection that grows up between them.

When, in her twenties, Franny begins an affair with the legendary author Leon Posen and tells him about her family, the story of her siblings is no longer hers to control. Their childhood becomes the basis for his wildly successful book, ultimately forcing them to come to terms with their losses, their guilt, and the deeply loyal connection they feel for one another.

Told with equal measures of humor and heartbreak, Commonwealth is a meditation on inspiration, interpretation, and the ownership of stories. It is a brilliant and tender tale of the far-reaching ties of love and responsibility that bind us together.”

So, what have you read lately? Any books I should add to my to-be-read list?

Truly,
Callie Coker

2018 Goals

 

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Hello, World.

My apologies for my absence in recent weeks. With finals and traveling home for the holidays, my blog posts suffered. However, I’m back and I hope to have a consistent schedule in the new year. I wanted to begin the year with my goals. I’ve never been a huge fan of resolutions, mainly because I usually pick things I won’t stick to or I won’t make time for, which sets me up for failure. This year, I am choosing to have some goals for myself that I hope I can work toward slowly but surely until next New Year’s Day.

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Healthy Eating \\ I’m not one to heavily diet because the minute I restrict something, I crave it. I also love sugar and crave it when I’m stressed. Given I’m in law school, restricting things that I crave while stressed will only mean failure down the road. Therefore, instead of restricting, my goal is to eat healthier foods. One of the biggest changes I noticed when I moved to Virginia was the lack of easily available healthy options. So, this year I plan to cook for myself more, eat more greens, fewer carbs, and get back to my roots!

Yoga \\ I used to love yoga in college, and almost got a membership at a studio in my college town, but decided against it because of cost. However, I really miss stretching and moving my body and feeling more… zen, if you will. So, this year I’d like to get back into yoga, whatever that may look like. I don’t want to put a ton of pressure on myself, but I’d like to see yoga more visibly in my daily life.

Fitness \\ Along the same lines as above, I was really into working out last spring, then kind of waned off of my routine in the summer, and never fully got back into working out much in the fall. This year I’d like to push myself and make working out more visible again. I feel so good when I work out daily, I’m less stressed, and I am generally happier. So, I’m hoping to make fitness a part of my weekly routine.

Stress-Management \\ Last semester I didn’t necessarily feel stressed until November-ish when finals got closer. However, I think I was subconsciously stressed well before November. This year I’m hoping to get my stress management under control. I’m not sure how this will look, but my initial thoughts include a solid morning routine, meditation, and music.

Friends \\ It’s so easy to let relationships and friendships slip through the cracks when you’re stressed. I, however, want to make a point to grow my friendships this year. I also want to see all the people I didn’t get to see over the last year and a half (this includes seeing my college friends more (even if only through FaceTime) and spending time with my law school friends doing things other than studying).

Financial

Spending \\ Spend less. That’s it.

Saving \\ I think saving is important, so the less I spend, the more I can save.

Academic

Grades \\ Work hard, do the best I can, and not let grades define me.

Job \\ Obtain a summer job doing something I love. I’m still in the process of looking, which is unsettling, but I’m ready to hit the ground running and secure a summer position.

Obviously, my personal goals are the biggest goals I have. This stems from a desire to feel more relaxed but also because I think it’s easy to lose sight of who you are and what you want in a high-pressure environment. This is the year I figure out what I want, I go for it with all my strength and resources, and don’t allow myself to get to the end of the year and mumble, somewhat disgruntled, I guess I’ll try again next year.

What’re your goals for the year?

Truly,

Callie leigh

Fall Outfit Inspiration with AUrate

Hello, World.

The temperatures are dropping, the fireplaces in homes are being used, and it’s officially cold enough to wear sweaters and boots without overheating. Fall is a great time for fashion, but as busy students it can be hard to look cute and put together while rushing from meetings to classes to the library. I know for me, comfort is key when studying hits its peak in the weeks leading to finals. Today, I wanted to share my ideal fall outfits, which are all complemented by AUrate earrings.  AUrate is a jewelry company in New York City that creates beautiful, dainty jewelry from ethically sourced materials because doing good is ingrained in the company’s DNA. Speaking of doing good, for each piece of jewelry purchased, an economically underprivileged child will receive a book! How cool is that? Reading is SO important, and I love the mission of this company.

Now, on to my ideal outfits. I wanted to create two looks that I would wear regularly during fall months. The second look is something fancier, for nights out with friends, meetings with college alums, or heading to a holiday event.

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Layering is SO necessary at the temperatures drop (at an exceedingly rapid pace). I also hate when my feet are cold, so rain boots and thick socks are a must. I love how this casual look is immediately stepped up when you add the half-moon earrings from AUrate! While the outfit looks simple at first, the earrings add a delicate, sophisticated touch

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I love vests, and skirts are my go-to for fall months. I love delicate, feminine details in my fancier outfits, so the pearl earrings from AUrate were the natural choice to accompany this outfit. I love that only the pearls are visible when the earrings are worn, so you have a great pearl detail. The pearls look like they line the bottom of the earlobe, which is classic and chic all at once.

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Is it even fall on the east coast if you aren’t wearing Bean Boots and LL Bean vests? I don’t think so. Classic cream sweaters, skinny jeans, fuzzy vests, boot socks, and bean boots are the quintessential fall look, so I felt it was appropriate to include as one of my favorite seasonal looks. I also love the simplicity of the ‘A’ earrings, which add the perfect classy detail to an otherwise cozy outfit.

What are your ideal fall looks?

Truly,

Callie leigh

 

Stylish Academic’s Guide to Avoiding Drama in College

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Hello, World.

Remember when Gossip Girl sent a blast announcing the Upper East Side crew wasn’t done with her upon high school graduation and that she would be following them to college? I think we all inhaled and exhaled so sharply in that moment. Bummer for them, but that meant we had more seasons of Gossip Girl! When you think about one’s first year of college, it’s hard to remember that in August, after moving into your dorm room, you’re really only three or four months away from high school.

Some behavior that’s sometimes normal in high school isn’t always welcome in college. The first being drama. Everyone’s life becomes a lot easier when the drama is stuck in a TV show and doesn’t permeate a person’s real life. Note: though this post is focused on college, I will say that in all stages of life minimal drama is desirable. If I notice someone loves drama and does whatever possible to create it, I quickly side-step interactions with them and minimize my exposure to them. So, I think it’s relatively easy to avoid drama in college, but sometimes it can be difficult because everyone is living in close quarters and if you’re at a small school, most people know each other.

I remember when I moved to my college, I thought it was huge compared to my 300-person high school, but others who went to much bigger high schools thought it was too much like high school [pro tip: size of college is something to really consider when choosing where to attend]. College gossip is real and college drama happens, but I want to share my top tips for minimizing drama:

  1. Surround yourself with positive people. Negative people brew drama like it’s a house roast. Whether intentional or not, negative people tend to create drama because their negativity either rubs off on others OR people vent about the negative person, thus brewing drama.
  2. Keep venting to a minimum. People will annoy you most likely, at one point or another. However, if you’re having issues with someone, either vent to someone you really trust, like your closest friend or your friends from home, or keep it to yourself. The more you vent, the more drama will form.
  3. Acknowledge issues as they happen. If someone annoyed you or hurt you, tell them. Handle your problems with people with them directly. There is no worse thing to do than telling everyone but the person that you’re upset. The more you do this, the more you send two messages: (a) you create drama and (b) you aren’t mature enough to handle your issues responsibly, quickly, and effectively.
  4. Focus on individual friendships. Some people believe the best way to live is to be friends with everyone all the time. That may work for some, but it didn’t work for me or many residents I had in college. When you nurture and develop individual friendships, they tend to be longer lasting and more genuine. I’ve never been someone who could hang out with 5 people at once all the time. Sure, I had “friend groups,” but I always made a point to schedule one-on-one time with all my friends. Whether it was coffee dates, study sessions, shopping outings, etc., I wanted to get to know the person as an individual and not just as a component in a larger group. This way, you know what each person is offering and adding, and you can discern if someone fits well in the group, but isn’t someone you want to seek out one-on-one. This also clarifies who the trustworthy friends are!

Four easy steps to an as-much-as-possible drama free college experience. I think the biggest thing is remembering that people talk. You don’t want to build a reputation as someone who talks negatively about people or stirs drama. Additionally, if you realize someone isn’t a good fit for your life, you can slowly step away from them. This may be difficult, as sometimes they’re very present in your life, but I think minimizing interactions is a great start. That way, it’s not some huge dramatic blowup, but rather a mature departure from the relationship. Drama can come about in ways you weren’t expecting, but it’s always best to be the bigger person! Or, if that doesn’t work, you can do as one of my duty partners did in my RA days: ignore it away!

Truly,
Callie leigh